People’s Alliance for Democracy protestors blockading airports at Krabi, Phuket and Hat Yai, closing roads, stopping trains, fresh produce become scarce in Bangkok, and hour after hour of Thai news discussing nothing else on TV.

Shocking pictures of stockpiles of Kraton (not sure how you spell it, basically a plant that gives a high similar to amphetamines), guns and ammo confiscated by the police, and the army sitting cooling their heals.

It’s only a matter of time before the government decides it is going to have to lose face over this, and order in the troops. Last time the army hit the streets in the name of politics they pulled off a bloodless coup, I can’t see them resolving this current mess without pulling the trigger.

We were planning a three week vacation, we have cancelled these plans now, we don’t want to risk getting caught up in anything on our travels.

I took a cab down to Soi Cowboy last night; it’s a little quieter than Patpong, kinda more laid back. Spent a few hours wandering around a few bars and found one with an excellent live band. I even remembered to take a picture or two so here is Soi Cowboy in all its neon glory.

Wandered back to the hotel about 1am and started chatting to a few people in the bar, then we all decided to go and find somewhere else to drink as the hotel bar was about to close. Luckily somebody had told me about the car park the previous day. Now the car park is a strange place, it is exactly what it says on the tin, a car park. But some enterprising person has set up a bar in it, they have all these tables and chairs and a mobile kitchen.

I decided I was hungry and asked for a menu, it had the name of the dish in Thai and then in English underneath. That’s pretty useful when it says things like ‘shrimp in bean sauce’ but there was one dish that in English just said ‘Snake head fist’. I’m thinking what the fuck is snake head fist? So I just had to try it. I have no idea what it was, tasted ok though, definitely one to chalk up as ‘mystery meat’.

People ended up having far too much to drink and some Australian guy decides he wants to teach everyone (including a bunch of Thai folks) something he calls the sailor dance, I have included a few images of this strange phenomenon, I sincerely wish I never have to witness it again!

I finally rolled into bed at about 7am, another night in Bangkok over, just 2 left now, on Monday night I have to catch the sleeper train down to the ferry.

Some of you have probably heard the stories of the bar girls in Thailand, some of you may have even seen them. Some of you may have heard the nightmare tales of western men who come to Thailand and end up having some crazy Thai prostitute ruin their life.

I always thought anyone allowing that to happen was a fool, the girl is a whore, you know it, she knows it, and everyone knows it right?

Well let me tell you I have just had a very nasty glimpse of just how easy it can happen, let me explain. Sorry no pictures, they ain’t keen on you taking photos in this place.

I went down to Patpong the night before last with a guy I met at the hotel. Went into one of the go-go bars, nice place, pretty girls, friendly. The girl at the beer counter is messing around, trying to undo my shirt and stuff, all friendly fun, easy to ignore. After about an hour of this kinda innocent messing about and having a few beers I feel one of the girls put her arm in mine. So I turn around and I am telling you that what I saw before me made me stop breathing, no joke.

Most friends of mine know my particular kind of girl; the kinda things that get my motor running so to speak, so let me describe her. I’ll start at the bottom and work up ok?

She’s about 5 feet tall, on her feet are a pair of combat boots, her legs are perfect, she’s wearing a black mini skirt and above that is her bare, flat stomach with a little amethyst gemstone in her belly button. She’s wearing a black halter top and unlike a lot of Thai girls she is most definitely not flat chested. She’s got a little tattoo on her neck, long dark hair, and she doesn’t quite look Thai, her face is more Indian. I found out after it’s because of her Isam descent. Because of this her eyes don’t slant up, they slant down and it makes her look kinda sad. And those sad eyes are looking at me with a “please don’t send me away” kinda look. I am telling you this girl was stunning, 11 out of 10.

I finally remember how to breathe and ask her name, she replies “tuk tuk”. Now a tuk tuk is a three wheel motorbike taxi, it’s a cheap ride around town. The irony of this name amuses me and makes me smile, what a fucking mistake that was, because she smiled back and I swear the world stopped for a moment.

So we make small conversation and I ask her if she likes working in Bangkok. She replies “No, sometimes the men make me cry”. Oh man I always was a sucker for a sob story.

At this stage I’m thinking this is some kind of Joke, somebody has approached one of my friends and asked them to design my perfect woman and set her loose on me, any moment a film crew will jump out from behind the curtains and Jeremy Beadle will pop out and say “You’ve been framed”.

But it’s not true of course, and I’m completely trapped.

Eventually it was her perfection that saved me though, she was a dream girl and you can’t buy dreams. If I ever have a girl like that it won’t be because I gave her 1500 baht and paid for her taxi home in the morning, I would rather keep dreaming.

I managed to escape, saying I would come back the next night, which I didn’t I just don’t trust myself.